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Waiting on the Editor

For my fellow inspiring writers out there this fear may resonate with you…Waiting on the editor.  I often wonder if the desire to become a published author is some form of self-hate or self-abuse.   The utter agony we put ourselves through once we finish a story, an article or whatever master piece our brilliant literary mind came up with, borders torture.  At least for me it does.  It does not matter how many times my husband tells me my newly written work is “awesomesauce” (his made-up compliment) I always tell myself the story sucks, it could be better.

UGH!

It usually takes me anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to submit my little tale to whatever publisher was seeking new stories for some new anthology.

I spell check.

I format it.

I read it out loud.

I read it to others.

I make others read it.

I make others read it out loud to me.

Then with a queasy stomach I hit send to the editor’s submission email address.  Then a moment of panic sets in, did I send the right copy.  What if it was the first draft? Oh crap did I use the right font?  Was it double space, or no?  Did I set my margin for 1 inch…?

Oh how the horror of what if, and did I, plays over and over in my mind.  That night I lay awake staring at the ceiling telling myself, self, the story is sent so there is no use worrying, you can’t take it back now.   Then magically in a few days you block out the thought that you even sent out a submission, because the reality of it is you will probably be waiting for quite a few weeks before your manuscript will even have a pair of eyes look at it.

So for a while, it is life as usual, and you find yourself cleaning house and singing happy tunes.  You have now become as careless as sweet Snow White snug in the woodland cottage of the Seven Dwarves, thoughts of the evil editor, oh I mean Wicked Queen are long gone, a distant memory.  In fact, a tiny blue bird perches on your window sill to sing along with your happy song…

Okay, maybe not but somehow I manage to stop worrying and go back to life as normal, well normal might be debatable.

So days turn to weeks and then one morning your coffee-less zombie like body sits down at the computer and guess what’s waiting…Yup, an email from the editor.  Oh the torture begins once more!

Should I open it?

What if they hated it?

Maybe I should have (insert name here) read it.

Somehow, I manage to grab my mouse and click on the email…

As you can see I have this rather quirky fear of waiting on the editor.  Honestly, I don’t know why.  They will like my writing or not, my worth as a writer is not tied up in that one story or whatever the response is.  In fact, some of the best critiques I have received have been from editors who took the time to tell me why my story was not accepted, in a kind and constructive way.

I guess the moral of the story is writers have to believe in their writing.  It has to be a part of who we are, in our blood.   We have to learn to look at rejections as stepping stones to making our story better. We need to continue to believe in our craft, even when what we get back hurts.  We need to find support with fellow creatures of the craft and we have to love ourselves and never give up!

Should we fear the editor?  No, we should learn that there is hope even at the bottom of the slush pile…

Until next, happy blogging and butterfly blessing!

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