For those who may have read my previous post Created To Be A Woman, you know I am the mother of a sweet little girl…But my life was also blessed with two boys. Oh boy what an adventure it has been down the road of snips, snails and puppy dog tails!
I grew up with all sisters so estrogen ruled the house but the days of female power has given way to a healthy balance of boys and girls. I love my boys and the things they have taught me have made me a much better person. They are growing into the most amazing young men, my oldest soon to be 15 and my second is 13. They are amazing and make me so proud.
So what can I fear about my boys… A lot! We naturally want to protect our daughters, drive away the bullies, and hold her when she cries, but for my boys the world has tried to dictate a different set of rules. They are supposed to be tough, they need to be strong and showing anything less makes you a wimp, a wuss and makes you a lesser man… Oh brother! My answer to this is “Really!?”
I have taught my boys that emotions are not something to hide, to bury or to push deep inside. That all emotions make them the men they are meant to be. It never ceases to amaze me when my guys share stories about the boys at school. I love that my boys talk with me, that they hold nothing back, it is an amazing thing and I hope no one ever steals that from them. Not that they talk to me but that they share their thoughts, that they are open and honest, no holds bar kind of guys.
Why does society tell it’s young men that they aren’t the good communicators, that guys don’t “feel”, or is it that they simply process the emotions differently, isn’t pain still pain and happiness simply happiness? Or am I a mom that is hoping for something that is just an illusion?
I look at their dad, who has been my partner in crime for 19 years now. He’s a good man but his struggles different from mine. He had a father who told him and his brother to go outside and beat the snot out of each other when they fought. We have taught our boys to talk it out, to look at it from all angles and that there are times to fight and stand up for what you believe but all of life should not be a boxing match. So far I think it’s working…
What can this mom say about her boys, how can I ever put into words how full they have made my heart. How I love going fishing with my oldest or playing World of Warcraft with my 13 year old. Yes, I am a WoW geek and I love that my boys want to hang out with me and play video games. I love that my boys walk with me to pick up their little sister from school, that they want their friends to meet me and that they accept me for me.
I may not have it all figured out when it comes to raising boys to men but I know I am giving it my all. I don’t want the world telling them what it wants from them, stealing years from them and one day as old men having the regrets that I see in my father’s eyes. I want them to embrace life, to face each hill with the “I Can!” attitude and to realize that not every game is about winning but how they played it.
I am glad that when life bucks its head my boys are ready to face it and say game on!